How to say I love you
by Windfighter
Summary: There are many ways to say "I love you". Bring a coat. Put the seat belt on. When are you coming home? Where's your knife? Sigrun wasn't very well-versed in any of them, but with time running out she had to learn.


One week. One whole week had passed since the attack. Sigrun was getting better. Tuuri was getting worse. _Emil_ had to drive the car. Mikkel was as stoic as ever and Sigrun couldn't stand him. Reynir was still all depressed and worried and Sigrun couldn't stand _him_ either. Lalli was brooding, kept away from the rest of them, but at least he was still scouting. Sigrun was proud over him. And Pusekatt was still Pusekatt.

Tuuri moved a little in her sleep and Sigrun turned around in the passenger seat, looked at Fuzzy-head. She didn't wake up, but the blanket slid down and Sigrun reached out a hand to pull it up.

"Yo, city-boy, can't you drive better than this?"

"I had a crash course two days ago, what do you expect? At least I'm trying!"

Sigrun crossed her arms over her chest and puffed her cheeks. Emil was right, of course, but it didn't stop her from disapproving. Tuuri moved again and Sigrun looked away, couldn't stand seeing the young Finn in so much pain and distress. Nightmares, she was certain of it, but she didn't wake her up. Mr Impossible Frustrating Madsen had told her Tuuri needed to rest and that she was not to disturb the other. Sigrun leaned against the window, let out a sigh.

"I'm doing the best I can!" Emil exclaimed and turned the wheel to avoid a large hole. "Driving is hard."

Sigrun didn't answer him, looked through the window. She had lost many recruits, it was common in the hunter trade. She always hated losing the people under her, but it was different with Tuuri. More real, somehow. More painful. It didn't help that the mutineer had rubbed her failure in her face either, but there was more to it than that.

"I don't even..." Emil stopped the car, pulled the map out to study it. Sigrun looked towards Tuuri again, waited. Emil let out a sigh, got up and left the room and Tuuri opened her eyes, looked at Sigrun.

"...Are we there?"

Sigrun shook her head.

"Not yet, Sweet-cheeks, still long to go. City-boy can't read a map to save his life and has to consult the twig every other second."

Sigrun blushed and looked away. Had she really just called Tuuri "Sweet-cheeks"? She heard Tuuri moving around a little, but it stopped as Emil came back inside. Emil nodded towards Sigrun, sank down in the driver's seat and started the tank again. Sigrun didn't really know how driving worked, so she let him take care of it, occassionally commenting that her grandmothers could drive faster and better. She could tell Emil did his best to ignore her. Sigrun wasn't sure what the other four were doing, nor did she care much as long as they didn't do anything stupid.

Sigrun looked towards Tuuri again. The Finn was pale, her cheeks rosy although not in a healthy way. She reached her hand out, ruffled Tuuri's hair a little and looked forward again. The tank shook as Emil hit a hole in the road.

"Odin's beard, Emil! You wouldn't be able to avoid the side of a barn even if it didn't move!"

Emil huffed, pulled the car to a stop and left the driver's cabin. Mikkel arrived a minute later, looked at Sigrun, who looked away.

"Will you explain to me what happened in here?"

"Little Miss Sparkly out there is a terrible driver, that's what happened."

"Is there anything else than Emil's driving abilities going on in here?"

Sigrun glanced in Tuuri's direction, then looked away again. Mikkel sat down in the driver's seat, Sigrun continued looking away.

"Are you still blaming yourself for what happened? Sigrun, I know it seems bad, but she will make it. Do not beat yourself up over it and definitely do not beat Emil up over it. We will not arrive at the pick-up point if you keep scaring him off."

"She's already ill, Mikkel. She has less than two more weeks to live, unless she turns into a troll, in which case we need to kill her before she's a danger to us. Can you do that? Do you think Emil can? Do you want to ask her _cousin_ to kill her?"

"We might be able to save her, Sigrun, do not give up hope yet.

"How, Mikkel? How exactly are we going to save her? With 'the cure'? I don't get all the fancy words, but 'brain-dead', I get that. She's going to die and there's nothing we can do except kill her sooner."

"You are not helping her when you talk, or even think, like that."

"It's the truth", Sigrun crossed her arms. "She knows it."

"We should still act under the assumption that we can save her. What you are doing is not good for morale."

"If I wanted the opinion of a mutineer I'd give it to them."

Mikkel let out a sigh, got up from the seat and placed a hand on Sigrun's shoulder.

"Try not to put too much pressure on Emil, he is doing his best to get us to safety."

Mikkel left the room and shortly after Emil came back inside, sat down in the driver's seat and rested his hands on the steering wheel. Sigrun waited ten seconds, then glared at him.

"Is finding the ignition too hard for you?"

"I'm sorry", Emil's shoulders shook. "I'm sorry I'm not Tuuri. Okay? I'm trying. I'm doing what I can to get us there. I never... I never wanted to drive, I wanted a pony. Just... I'm sorry."

His hands hugged the steering wheel tighter and Sigrun looked away. After a minute the engine roared to life and the tank started moving again. Emil hit another hole and Sigrun bit her tongue to keep her from saying anything. After another hour Emil stopped again, disappeared, but reappeared again a moment later.

"We're stopping here for the night", he said, not looking at Sigrun. "Lalli says it's safe enough. I can take the first shift."

He disappeaed before Sigrun could say anything and she leaned back, looked at Tuuri. Less than two weeks. Sigrun didn't know exactly how long, but in a week Tuuri would be in a coma and after that... Sigrun looked away. After that they'd either have to kill her or watch her wither away. She looked at her hands. Forget the others, would _she_ be able to kill Tuuri? She wasn't sure.

Tuuri moved again, woke up and looked at Sigrun before she settled up, leaned against the wall.

"Are we there?"

Sigrun shook her head.

"Not yet, fuzzy-head. We should be there in a few days."

Tuuri nodded, didn't lay down again and Sigrun continued looking at her, didn't know what to say, and Tuuri looked at her hands, fiddled with the blanket.

"Sigrun, come out here for a few seconds, please."

Sigrun let out a sigh, followed Mikkel outside. He didn't tell her anything new and she dismissed him, went back inside. She tried to smile towards Tuuri, but was certain it was hollow. She sat down on the passenger seat, looked through the window. She opened her mouth to say something, but closed it again. Mikkel came back inside, served them dinner and left again. Tuuri opened her mouth to say something, but closed it, and Sigrun watched as she ate, watched how her hair moved, how her cheeks puffed up slightly before she swallowed, how her hand trembled as she brought the food to her mouth.

Mikkel came back inside, took the empty plates and glanced meaningly in Sigrun's direction. Sigrun acted like she didn't see it and Mikkel stopped to talk with Tuuri, tried to give her the confidence Sigrun couldn't provide and Sigrun blushed when Tuuri did, looked away again. Mikkel left and Emil came back, still didn't look at Sigrun.

"You take the first shift, Emil. It's fine for me."

Emil nodded, said something to Tuuri and patted her shoulder before leaving. Sigrun had to turn away when she noticed Tuuri smiling. Another hour later Lalli left the tank to scout the road ahead, Mikkel peeked in to say good night and then darkness fell. Tuuri laid down in the improvised bed again and Sigrun leaned back in the chair, looked through the window, looked at Tuuri.

One week. One week, then she'd never see the Finn smile again, would never see her eyes light up, her cheeks blush. She looked at Tuuri, got up and sat down beside her. She pulled her fingers through Tuuri's hair, Tuuri's gray eyes opened, looked at her and Sigrun looked away, looked back. She wanted to say that everything would be fine, that they'd figure something out, that all six of them would sit in the halls of Dalsnes drinking mjöd soon enough, but she couldn't bring herself to lying for the younger woman. Instead she leaned closer, felt her cheeks burning as her thumb caressed Tuuri's lips.

"Tuuri, have you ever kissed someone?"

Tuuri shook her head, blushed, and Sigrun leaned in even closer.

"Do you want to?"

Tuuri's lips were soft and warm and Sigrun's tongue parted them, tasted them and Tuuri's hand buried into Sigrun's hair, traced Sigrun's arm. Sigrun's hand traced Tuuri's body, but then she pulled away, looked in the other direction.

"I shouldn't."

Tuuri sat up, leaned against Sigrun.

"I'd love some more kisses before it's too late. If you don't mind."

Sigrun held her hand against Tuuri's cheek, smiled towards her.

"I don't mind."


End file.
